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This is the beginning and the beginning of the end00:22 Jul 06 2009
Times Read: 699
A real story that began a long time ago and ended somewhere around two to four years ago. I can't remember now. The situation in the US caused this relationship to become a casualty as the male lost everything and we could no longer make plans. Sometimes things aren't meant to last. This is one of the first online convos I had with this man and they went on almost everyday for six years for hours. All different topics. He loved Avenged Sevenfold and he had issues. Won't say anything more personal about him than that. I use him as a stereotype for some of the males I put in my stories. In here it deleted the spaces and it takes too long for me to put them back in. You will see touches of where I get some of my story lines. I very often take them from things that have really happened and then add a plot, lol. What I wrote wasn't a story added on as far as fictional. This is what actually happened that day.
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DAVID
I woke up with a start, looked around the room totally disoriented. I had that feeling of being lost but here I was in my room and in my bed yet there was this nagging feeling of unfamiliarity. I thought to myself out loud, “I had that same dream again”. I got up and almost staggered to the bathroom. I was so dizzy but I had slept well all night except for that reoccurring dream I kept having of my mystery boyfriend.
I called him mystery, as we hadn’t yet met. Every plan we had made to meet had fallen through for one reason or another. I thought about it often and went into a state of paranoia believing perhaps I had been deceived. Meetings on the internet were often like that. You never knew who you were talking to unless you had a friend who knew them or you saw them on a webcam. That would ease the mind but all in all you didn’t know who they “really” were until you met them in person. Meet him I had not and wondered if that occasion would ever come to pass. Often he said to me, it would be well worth my wait, and those words that I was so fond of, “I love you”.
I had all sorts of fantasies about this man. He would tell me how gorgeous he was and cool he was and all around perfect he was. Yes I said the same thing to myself, too good to be true. I laughed often thinking about it. He was the most egotistical man I had ever met next to a brooding Romanian, a friend of mine would talk about, whose ego was probably the size of the country he came from, now being in the United States.
Memories kept surfacing in my mind over and over from the dream. That dream had seemed real, lucid. He was leaning against a wall and we were kissing and the kisses were passionate. I felt weak as if I could not move and kept kissing him almost entranced. I touched him and he twisted around and had me pinned up against the wall. I couldn’t help saying to myself, even in the dream, “where are we”. It was almost like a plea. I didn’t want to wake up and leave him but something I heard woke me up suddenly.
I was always thinking about him. I didn’t do much else but think about him. Is that what they call love sickness I thought and then giggled? At my age you would have thought these schoolgirl ideas were a thing of the past but here they were coming into my mind again and again. I thought back on the dream and I could remember almost feeling his breath on my face, the touch of his hand as he slid it up my arm and placed it along my neck. I shivered at his touch and tried to focus my eyes to see this man I was so hopelessly obsessed with but it was a haze no matter how I tried; like a swirling mist in the night all around us.
Meeting on the internet is usually comical and in this case it was very amusing. I had a chatroom in one of the popular places on the internet. Suddenly this ID appeared in the room announcing he was going to bother people and he stole identities. I was intrigued with this man who was so bold in a chatroom full of people. Personally he seemed very arrogant but still he caught my attention. Thus began the game!
I entered the room and as I did he was suddenly leaving. I clicked on his ID and wrote,
“Oh no you don’t, I saw you! I just popped in, I was writing an email. I want to know who you are!”
He typed a smile and said, “I missed you so much”.
I replied incredulous, “you did huh, why?”
Much to my surprise he wrote, “because you always make my day so much brighter.”
I was flattered of course and really curious as to whom this man was who said he knew me but wasn’t going to tell me until two weeks had passed, which ended up cut down to one by my prodding. He said we would play a little game first of question and answer and if I could figure out who he was before that time he would tell me. This was too much. I didn’t believe this man who was talking to me like this.
He had come and gone out of MY chatroom after I entered leaving a message stating, “I love you with all my heart”. I had only talked to him once in the room prior. Was this man crazy? It was a sprung trap and I knew he caught me. I was determined to find out what his motives were. I played the game.
So I said to him, “but I don’t know who you are”.
He replied, “you only have four days left”.
We had already spoken for some time up to this present day.
I proceeded to tell him I had been writing an email to someone and he immediately responded asking if it was to him. I sort of smirked to myself thinking how sure of himself he was. I told him no that I did not know his email address and he changed the subject to casual pleasantries.
“So how has your day been”, he asked.
I replied, “well fine so far, I just woke up”.
He immediately replied, “well you deserve the best”.
I was sleepy and in no mood for compliments from a man I didn’t really know but still I was curious, I expressed that I was still sleepy but I didn’t understand why he was saying these things to me.
He said, “well you are the nicest person I have come in contact with so far.”
I thought to myself, this guy knows women and he is trying to butter me up. How could he be sincere, unless he did know me and was being covert about it. After all he was insinuating I knew him but did I really? I had hoped it wasn’t any of the nutcases I had met on the internet prior playing games with me. I reserved judgment.
I thanked him of course and he said, “you are already thanking me just by talking to me”.
Now that was a lot of blarney and I giggled quietly to myself wondering what this man was up to. Wondering how old he was in all actuality. He had an air that was very childlike, pure. I had a feeling that he was not this way at all. It seemed to me to be an enticement and here I was at my age, already being reeled in and knowing it. What a silly woman I had become to be taken in by someone on the internet, or so I thought at the time.
I pleaded with him asking him, “why won’t you tell me who you are”?
Out of the blue he replied with no seeming tie to the question I asked, “well that’s why I’m never going to be rude to you”.
I thought what does that have to do with what we were talking about but I shrugged to myself and thought I would be patient and see if I could figure out what he was leading into next.
I said, “so you will always be nice to me, how nice. Do I know you?”
As I expected he would, he typed, “yes you do“.
I knew this was a lie. I felt it, but I wasn’t going to challenge him. I sighed and decided to see what else he had to say.
Ok, fairly recent or over a long time” I said.
Then he says and I should have known, “well either that or you just feel like you have known me forever”.
I felt angry and frustrated but I kept it to myself, I really wanted to know who this cocky, enigmatic man was so I played on.
He continued to say, “if I told you that you might know exactly who I am”.
Now I was mad, “aw come on”, I said, disguising it with a typed laugh.
“On Tuesday everything will be made manifest”, he said.
“Why Tuesday”, I asked
“Well that’s 4 days from today”, he said.
I asked him, “why the countdown”
He said, “It is part of the game.”
I wanted to tell him to take a flying leap off the nearest cliff but I had to know who he was. By this time I couldn’t just let it go. I really wanted to know who this man was who had the nerve to play such a game with me and it was original for me on the internet. No one else had the nerve to do such a thing as I had a reputation and normally I would have hit ignore and stopped talking to him but for some reason, this man had gotten under my skin.
I said, “why are we playing a game”.
“Because you wanted to remember”, he typed out.
“I did?” I said thinking hard as I didn’t remember saying that.
He said, “yes, you said you could beat me”.
I thought oh no, a challenge and a man who could not pass on a challenge. He definitely was determined that no woman was going to put one over on him and he was making sure of it. The thing is, how did he know I would play?
I responded, “silly me”. (slaps herself upside the head)
“Aww, the games almost over,” he replied casually
I said, “I knew not what I was doing; out of my mind and typed a lol for laughter.
He says, “Well I guess I will win the game”, and puts a smiley on the screen.
Of course this made it a challenge, and I wasn’t going to let go of a challenge yet I thought I was being silly to play this man’s game and I was sure he was a fairly young man. He put “well” in front of almost everything he wrote. I was hoping he wasn’t under age but I was pretty sure he was at least in his twenties. It was a gut hunch that I had and hoped I was right about.
So I went on to say, “it depends on what you have chosen the prize to be”.
He said, “just the satisfaction of winning, I am very competitive”.
Somehow I knew that but still I wanted to play. This man was so interesting in a basic sort of way. He was clever but it was very subtle. I had this hunch he had been watching me in the chatroom, sizing me up in an entirely different ID. Of course that may have been a ruse; part of the game.
So I thought I would get it all over with and said, “well here, make it easy on yourself, YOU WIN, woohoo and laughed.
He said much to my chagrin, “you will have to wait until Tuesday to surrender.
I adamantly told him, “I AM NOT GOOD AT WAITING”!
So I said, “do I know you from the chatrooms”.
He says, ‘are you sure that is the question you want to ask?”
I said, “I get one”?
“Yes”, he said.
I asked him, “have you ever played games like this before with me”?
“Never, not games like this anyway,” he replied
I thought all right, well let’s see what I can get him to say. Now I was on a mission and I HAD to know who he was and I wanted to know now but it was starting to annoy me and yet my mind was in overdrive trying to see if he slipped and gave me any clues to whom he was because frankly, I felt he was a total stranger.
I pouted and said, “that’s not nice”.
He said, “I never said the game would be easy”.
All I could think at that time was beastial noises…grrrr!
I sighed saying, “can’t anything ever be easy, I am tired and weary of everything being so hard”.
He replied, “I'm sorry but I cannot answer that question, until I have taken my turn.
I feigned it really wasn’t a question for him. More like thinking or typing in this case out loud.
“I know, and I wish the game could be a little easier, but then it wouldn’t be any fun, he said. “I think I'm going to see how long I can talk to you without asking a question”.
“I see and that is what, you are having fun at my expense”, I said and typed a sad face.
He said, “wow, I almost asked a question, I’m glad I caught myself but you are having fun too”?
I said sullenly, “you are suppose to ask a question, it is your turn”.
I was thinking of leaving and not talking to him anymore. I don’t know what kept me playing the silly game. I felt like I knew him and I had to know for sure.
He says, “yes but I want to drag my turn on through the whole day. That way you will not get any chance to ask any kind of questions to figure out who I am.”
What could I say after that. I gave into fate.
“You must be really angry with me about something”, I couldn’t help but say.
Then he shocked me with his next response, I knew he had to be up to something because what he was saying was impossible. I was sure I didn’t know him even if there was this aura of familiarity.
His response was, “No, I love you very much remember?
At that time he excused himself and left me while he went outside where he worked for a smoking break. I had learned that much that he was talking to me from where he worked.
He was gone a long time and I became impatient and asked if he had come back and it came up like this, twice, *** PM request channel is busy, wait a moment and try again.
I looked at that and burst out laughing. Of course he couldn’t hear me as I didn’t know if he would be insulted thinking I was laughing at him and I was!
He starts to type again and this appears on the screen, “did you miss me”?
I shook my head and thought to myself, this is going to be quite a game. Am I sure I want to know who this man is?
I started guessing all the people I thought it could be but to no avail. All he would say is, “all will be revealed on Tuesday”.
I asked again why on Tuesday and he said the game had to last at least a week.
I mentioned to him that those in the chats said he had a reputation of being evil and cannot be trusted. I said this only in jest, but most didn’t like him because he would come in and make fun of people. That was what he did. He replied he was very evil and that, misery made him smile. I thought at that time this is not sounding good, what’s next!
We went on to talk about how it took years sometimes to really know someone and he said, “you will know me on Tuesday”.
Which I replied to immediately, “So you admit, you don’t know me”?
He replied, I might, maybe, maybe not.
I told him he had created a bad reputation for himself in the chatrooms.
His only comment was, “Mission accomplished”!
I asked him why he wanted everyone to dislike him and he said, “hey I haven’t taken my turn yet, then said, I will skip my turn.”
I asked him why and wondered why he didn’t have any questions for me and asked him that.
He said, “I already know everything about you”
Now that got me really worrying. Was this a stalker and who had he been talking to. He then said well it was almost. Then my mind really got carried away wondering if this was even a man. Maybe one of my female friends having a little fun.
So I asked him, “Are you a male?”
He replies, “Are you sure that is the question you want to ask?”
I was infuriated by now but still very much intrigued and told him no, that I wasn’t sure so he said I could have another question.
I asked him some very personal questions about myself, which he avoided skillfully and I felt invaded.
I kept trying to trip him up but he kept saying he loved me over and over again.
So I finally said to him, “have I ever told you that I love you”?
He says, “I love you too”.
I said, “no, I am asking you if I have ever said that.
He says once again, “Are you sure that is the question that you want to ask”?
Then he responded and said, “Well you have never told ME that”
Then he says he didn’t include his other personalities and I said I had already given my heart away (which was sort of a stretch of the truth) and I had no vacancies and he said, “Well I can just give you mine.”
There was that “well” again and I was speechless. Repeating all would be revealed on Tuesday. I typed that I wondered if I was going to get incredibly angry with him on Tuesday and he changed the subject to, “It’s my turn to ask the questions.”
He went on saying, “There are so many questions to ask I’m not sure which one to go with. If I ask the wrong question, it could give me away.”
By that time I was ready to go, log off but something held me there. I said, “be Brave, be daring, ask one”
He used Knightofevilness and I used Lady Nightdancer as Ids and we kept talking for quite awhile. He continued to say,
knightofevilness But I also have to be cunning.;
lady_nightdancer Ok...be cunning and ask anyway
knightofevilness Why would you get angry at me?
lady_nightdancer because of the deception...if you are a
friend and I know you well...why would you want to play games.
lady_nightdancer Why waste the time
knightofevilness I see.
lady_nightdancer Do you see?
knightofevilness Yes I understand.
lady_nightdancer It is for this very reason I remain for the most part alone...deceptions...the pain I carry
knightofevilness You don’t have to be alone anymore.
lady_nightdancer How do you propose to change that...do you live down the street, lol
knightofevilness I might.
lady_nightdancer No ...this is one thing I know...you do not live on this street
lady_nightdancer My turn...do you have a name in AOL
knightofevilness But I could live down the street.
lady_nightdancer No...not on this street
knightofevilness are you sure that’s the question you want to ask?
lady_nightdancer Is that built into your messenger, lol
knightofevilness That is the question you want to ask?
lady_nightdancer Yes
knightofevilness No it is not,
lady_nightdancer Answer my posed question please
knightofevilness I did, you asked if it was built into my messenger.
lady_nightdancer I will let that go
lady_nightdancer Your turn
knightofevilness will you spend the rest of your life with me?
lady_nightdancer Hmmm, now that is a question I cannot answer...I do not know you
lady_nightdancer If I said yes for the sake of argument, I would be a fool wandering in the darkness
knightofevilness will you spend today with me?
lady_nightdancer where...here
knightofevilness yes
lady_nightdancer Ok...that I will do
lady_nightdancer if it means that much to you
knightofevilness Thank you very much
lady_nightdancer You are welcome
knightofevilness so do you have any question?
lady_nightdancer I want to know Why you are doing this?
knightofevilness You challenged me.
Here it made me think of “Back to the Future” and the bad guy calling the main character Chicken and him turning around to fight.
lady_nightdancer I did?
lady_nightdancer I don't remember doing such a thing as that
knightofevilness It was a few days ago.
lady_nightdancer what did I say to you
knightofevilness you said that you could play the game better then me,
lady_nightdancer Maybe if I knew what the game was
lady_nightdancer lol
knightofevilness lol
lady_nightdancer But, seriously...I do not remember saying that to you
knightofevilness I thought you already knew what the game was
lady_nightdancer No
lady_nightdancer I was probably just kidding around...I get a little drunk in the room
knightofevilness well on Tuesday the game will be over, if you want to quit
lady_nightdancer In all honesty...I am a pretty up front person and not really into game playing unless pushed and prodded
lady_nightdancer Well I would think your preference for something of this sort would be with a much younger female
knightofevilness Actually I enjoy playing the game with you
lady_nightdancer Have you done this before to anyone else
knightofevilness Is that the question you want to ask?
lady_nightdancer You devil
knightofevilness :-D
lady_nightdancer Yes, that is the question
knightofevilness Well, I think I may have
lady_nightdancer No, no...you do not get off the hook that easily...a yes or no ...that is evasive
knightofevilness no I haven’t done it to anyone else
lady_nightdancer Thank you...I did wish to know this
lady_nightdancer your turn
knightofevilness Do you want me to be someone you know or a stranger?
lady_nightdancer that is an odd question and I do not know how to answer that
knightofevilness that’s not fair
lady_nightdancer did I say I would play the game fairly, lol
lady_nightdancer What I want is not to cry
knightofevilness why are you going to cry?
lady_nightdancer Because I am always being hurt and deceived by others
knightofevilness I wont do that to you
Right here I’m thinking, that’s what they all say!
lady_nightdancer I have judged one thing about you...you do not use much slang...shows intelligence
knightofevilness Do I use any slang?
lady_nightdancer Some I think
lady_nightdancer well you know the words not in the dictionary anyway
lady_nightdancer lol
knightofevilness lol I don’t think I’ve used any slang
knightofevilness I’ve noticed a few things about you too ;-)
knightofevilness you always say do not, never don't
lady_nightdancer I say don't sometimes...but when I write and when I talk privately online and am at ease...my writing is rather formal
lady_nightdancer But you seem very young
knightofevilness well I'm not in my teens
lady_nightdancer That is good to know...neither am I ...I am from the dark ages of Beatles and such
knightofevilness well at least we have a few things in common
lady_nightdancer We do
lady_nightdancer that was a question?
lady_nightdancer lol
knightofevilness no
knightofevilness :-)
knightofevilness I havent asked my question yet
lady_nightdancer I was a teen then is what I am saying
knightofevilness what do you mean
lady_nightdancer Are you sure you wish to ask this question? :p
knightofevilness lol
knightofevilness can I have a freebie?
lady_nightdancer Yes
knightofevilness what time are you going to be here until
lady_nightdancer probably about six but not always at the keyboard
lady_nightdancer then I must go to work and will be back very late
knightofevilness :(
knightofevilness I always hate when you have to go to work
lady_nightdancer You do?
knightofevilness yes
knightofevilness but I know you have to work
lady_nightdancer yes and I am barely working
lady_nightdancer things are looking down a bit
knightofevilness everything will get better
lady_nightdancer I do not even worry about it...only two things to lose now...my possessions and my life and neither means that much to me anyway
knightofevilness yeah but your life means a lot to everyone else
lady_nightdancer what everyone else
knightofevilness well me and a lot of other people
lady_nightdancer thank you
I ask him here if he is a vampire and he is evasive so he asks me the same question and I was evasive in the same way. It was fun to get even for his teasing me at this point.
knightofevilness yes but you still have to answer the question
lady_nightdancer You must answer first
lady_nightdancer maybe, maybe not
knightofevilness you’re so cute
knightofevilness you’re making me want to flirt with you
lady_nightdancer ;;)
lady_nightdancer Answer my question
knightofevilness it was my turn remember
lady_nightdancer No, you did not answer my question from previous...you evaded the answer
knightofevilness That question would ruin the game.
lady_nightdancer why
lady_nightdancer I know many who are and who are not
knightofevilness because you have to figure out who I am and if you ask that you might find out
lady_nightdancer and who think they are
lady_nightdancer I see...I dont think so though
knightofevilness ok is that the question you want to ask then
lady_nightdancer yes
knightofevilness are you sure?
lady_nightdancer yes
knightofevilness no I’m not a vampire
lady_nightdancer ok
knightofevilness My turn
lady_nightdancer see, still do not know
knightofevilness What are you thinking?
lady_nightdancer ok
lady_nightdancer Now that is a big question
knightofevilness Tell me
lady_nightdancer I am thinking
lady_nightdancer many things
knightofevilness well what exactly
Here I knew he wanted me to say all these things about him. How I was thinking about him and wondering who he was and felt like I knew him and things like this but I was determined at this point not to do such a thing. He hadn’t learned how stubborn I was when “I” was given a challenge.
lady_nightdancer that I am hungry mostly
lady_nightdancer amused by you and thinking well ... you are doing this for amusement purposes
Then he hits me with the whammy and I knew deep in his heart he was aware he was doing this yet, I liked it.
knightofevilness Actually I'm doing this because I love you
lady_nightdancer Don’t see how you can
knightofevilness On Tuesday you will.
Tuesday always, Tuesday. Enough already I was not wanting to hear this by now but I didn’t know how to get my own way at this point as I was frustrated but yet as I had said previously he was beguiling even though the repartee was simple, it was there.
lady_nightdancer I see
lady_nightdancer How did you find out about my room?
knightofevilness I didn't know that was your room.
lady_nightdancer How can you not tell...Lady Nightdancer...Vampire Nightdance
knightofevilness You're right, I never thought about it
knightofevilness Well you have a pretty good room.
lady_nightdance depending on who is within it at the time
knightofevilness Well I mean it is pretty popular, for a yahoo chat
There was that “well” again and it kept reminding me that maybe I was just digging a big hole for myself. A trap was going to be sprung and I was the victim.
lady_nightdancer I just did it because someone insulted me in a friend’s room and I did not want to cause grief in her room
lady_nightdancer but I have gotten to know many along the way
We talked a bit about vampires and he asked me what my beliefs were and I could tell he was not a believer but he was polite about it and it impressed me greatly. It was the same old thing people will ask, who are not familiar with the subject other than in books like Dracula.
lady_nightdancer Sorry...I lost my messenger
lady_nightdancer Are you there Sir Knight
knightofevilness Yes I am
lady_nightdancer It is your turn I think
knightofevilness Actually it was your turn
lady_nightdancer Oh...ok
lady_nightdancer What do you mean precisely by "physical" in your case?
knightofevilness Well I mean that I cannot see past this earthly plane
lady_nightdancer You do not believe in anything beyond what you can see?
lady_nightdancer Not my turn I know...so you need not answer if you do not wish to
knightofevilness well I believe in things I cannot see but not strongly enough
knightofevilness Sometimes I think I'm mentally ill.
This topic made me uneasy. Most people on the net would not say something like this so I questioned him before I decided to become the Road Runner and take off leaving a trail of smoke behind me.
lady_nightdancer Why do you think such a thing?
knightofevilness I'm not sure maybe it's because I have weird thoughts.
That didn’t seem too bad. I sighed in relief.
lady_nightdancer I have weird thoughts too...so what’s new...anyone who goes into the Pagan chats is considered those who have alternative thinking
knightofevilness yes but I have very weird thoughts different from anyone
I wondered at the time about how he could actually know this, if he just felt isolated in his mind or someone had told him this. Or perhaps he was delusional, oh my!
lady_nightdancer Many people say this to me...my friend who is getting married has said as much from time to time
knightofevilness Yes but it is different, it's almost like I can tell what someone is thinking
lady_nightdancer What am I thinking
knightofevilness lol
knightofevilness I knew you would say that
lady_nightdancer Of course...it was predictable of me
knightofevilness I know
lady_nightdancer but it is a serious question...what am I thinking
knightofevilness but its not like I can hear what they say
knightofevilness you probably don’t believe me
lady_nightdancer No, I do not doubt that
Here I actually didn’t know what to think. Was he trying to impress me because I had told him in conversation I had an occult background or was he being sincere. I was a bit skeptical at this point but I played along.
knightofevilness either that or you’re trying to think of something that I would never think of
lady_nightdancer some people are very intuitive, just not usually males...they are not hardwired that way...even though I know most of the more famous psychics have been males, I think it is only because they become known more easily in this Patriarchal society we have
knightofevilness its like when I talk to someone I’m always trying to figure out what they are going to say when I say something
Aha I thought, a manipulator or very paranoid.
lady_nightdancer I see
lady_nightdancer I think you must be between 20 and 30
lady_nightdancer very young man
knightofevilness Yes you may be right
lady_nightdancer this is what I am thinking
lady_nightdancer I cannot have a relationship with someone of that age
knightofevilness So you are thinking of having a relationship with me?
I thought what a big ego here. I was trying to politely say I didn’t want to make a practice of this talking all the time because I felt he was entirely too young and he kept saying I love you. What was I to think, so my thoughts were to discourage him.
lady_nightdancer I did not say that
lady_nightdancer I am just making an open statement of how I feel about such things
knightofevilness I see.
lady_nightdancer Your turn I think
knightofevilness What if I was 20-30?
He was a man who was always using scenarios and what if questions. This was another to add to the list. I didn’t like being asked these types of questions because you never knew what the catch was.
lady_nightdancer We could be friends
lady_nightdancer I should say 29 down
knightofevilness So if I'm 29+ we can be more then friends?
lady_nightdancer I am far too old for anyone under this age
lady_nightdancer 30
lady_nightdancer and that is pushing the limit for me
lady_nightdancer it is not fair to another that young, I have nothing to offer them
I didn’t want him to get romantic ideas about me. It never dawned on me I might get romantic ideas about him at the time.
knightofevilness I'd say you have more to offer than anyone I've ever met.
lady_nightdancer Well...for someone under 30 and some over...most want children and such...I cannot have any...and I will die long before them most likely...I look a lot younger but that will not be forever unless I met someone who wanted to make me over like Cher who had the money to do so, lol
I had this happen to me, went into a relationship with someone younger than me but not a lot but he wanted children and I could not have anymore so I wasn’t about to let myself in on that with anyone, anytime, anyplace. I was adamant about that and was trying to tell him in a nice way basically, get that lovey dovey stuff out of your head.
knightofevilness Well maybe we can die together
I had no idea what to say here so the egghead I am said the following.
lady_nightdancer (2:07:27 PM): One never really knows when that will be ... even though I talk of such things, lol...one should live life to the fullest they can...whether they believe they have longer time than the average...it flies by and all can die in the wink of an eye
lady_nightdancer anything can happen...accidents
lady_nightdancer disease
knightofevilness yes
knightofevilness I won't live for very much longer.
This gave me a pang but I didn’t know why as I barely knew this person.
lady_nightdancer Only one other person has said such to me...and that is Everette
Everette was this man I met online through another person and we became very close and he at one time planned on coming to live with me as a roommate and then it happened. He started to get yes, lovey dovey and he was an adult, but under twenty. He asked me to marry him twice and the second time I told him if he didn’t quit messing with me I wouldn’t ever speak to him again and it dwindled until we don’t talk anymore and I didn’t for some reason, want to put this man in the position of me embarrassing him or so I thought at the time.
knightofevilness Still trying to figure out who I am?
lady_nightdancer You seem very much like him
lady_nightdancer but he is a teen
lady_nightdancer and you said you were not
knightofevilness Well, You can never be too sure what is the truth and what is not.
That “well” again, it was an identifying thing in his personality and expression. I had found out something here I hadn’t thought about earlier. If he showed up in another name in a chatroom I could tell by how he expressed himself although I hoped he wasn’t a mere stalker.
lady_nightdancer Yes, I am trying to figure out who you are
lady_nightdancer but then you asked me questions he already knows the answers to
knightofevilness :-D
lady_nightdancer whats the smile for
knightofevilness Because I'm good at this game.
Here I knew for certain I didn’t know him nor did he know me outside of the chance meeting in the chatroom but he was sure going to a lot of trouble just to talk to me and for hours.
knightofevilness All you have to do is figure out why I said what I say.
lady_nightdancer Why...I think I do not want to be hurt by all this...but I am feline in nature
Yes you can count on that, Curiosity is my middle name.
knightofevilness So you would rather have me be a stranger?
It wasn’t that, by now I knew he was a stranger with some sort of hidden agenda. That’s what I wanted to find out about.
lady_nightdancer I did not say that
lady_nightdancer I know who I wish you were and know you are not.
This wasn’t exactly true. There was someone I really liked but it wasn’t really serious in the usual way. It was more of intrigue on my part but at this time it wasn’t anything at all except fun, so I was exaggerating on purpose to keep him distanced.
knightofevilness Who do you wish I was?
lady_nightdancer That is not a question I will answer
lady_nightdancer That seemed to cause speechlessness
knightofevilness lol I’m sorry I have to admit that I wanted it to seem that way
knightofevilness but I actually went to get something
lady_nightdancer Ok
knightofevilness I guess I’m a little devious
knightofevilness but at least I told you
Had to grin here, the guy was smooth. He was using the “awww” technique on me to make me think he was such a good guy and only in a matter of a few days, hours I was expected to come to the conclusion he was honest about what he was saying because he told me he had left his desk. I had to laugh and laugh and laugh!
lady_nightdancer yes you did
lady_nightdancer have I done something rude to you...is this why you are trying to hurt me with this game
knightofevilness I'm not trying to hurt you at all
lady_nightdancer Well I know you can get pretty nasty when you want to...watched you in the room
knightofevilness I've been watching you too
lady_nightdancer Oh, in another ID?
knightofevilness Yes and on this Id
I knew it, oh no a stalker!
lady_nightdancer You know...that was said to me by another a few months ago and he was having fun at fooling me
knightofevilness Do you think I'm having fun at fooling you?
lady_nightdancer I do not really know what you are doing...no clue at the moment...guess I will know on Tuesday
Yes,yes I do think you are trying to fool me, I lied to keep the peace.
knightofevilness So does that mean you will be online ?
lady_nightdancer Not sure, at sometime on that day yes...early morning to maybe mid day and late in the night if I am working ...don’t know yet
knightofevilness Well I will be waiting
At that point, that was what I was afraid of yet I was so drawn to him. I had to admit that I liked him; a little strange but interesting.
lady_nightdancer Who do you think I am?
lady_nightdancer My room has only been open maybe two weeks or so and that is all that I have had this ID
knightofevilness Is that the question you want to ask?
lady_nightdancer lol...you never give an inch do you
knightofevilness I gave you two or three free questions ;-) :-D
lady_nightdancer Yes...who do you specifically think I am...not what type of person I am ...but my name...where I live...that stuff
knightofevilness ahhhhhhh you knew exactly what I was going to say didn’t you
lady_nightdancer lol
knightofevilness Well your name is on your profile remember
lady_nightdancer I did not think I put it on this one
knightofevilness You did :-)
knightofevilness But I will let you take that turn over if you want
He was relentless and I was getting annoyed! Why didn’t I leave and the answer to that is, I really don’t know. Maybe I liked the attention.
lady_nightdancer Ok...I guess what I want to know is...Did you know me in another ID other than Lady Nightdancer
knightofevilness Now that question I cannot answer.
lady_nightdancer Why not
knightofevilness Because that question eliminates all the people that you think I am
knightofevilness Well not all
knightofevilness And it just would make the game less interesting
I was starting to feel a bit childish here but I had to admit it was sort of fun and frankly, I was now wanting to play and talk to him again.
knightofevilness What are you thinking?
lady_nightdancer some things
knightofevilness lol
knightofevilness Does it have anything to do with me?
lady_nightdancer Not exactly...since I do not know who you are *goes to a corner and sulks*
knightofevilness do you know that we have been talking for a few hours about nothing?
lady_nightdancer Yes, in a way
knightofevilness I've never had as much fun talking about nothing as I am with you
Ok so the guy knows how to make women think he is cool. I was succumbing like all the rest. I imagined he had done this with others. He had won. I still felt he was just using flattery but at this point, I didn’t care. Would you if a man went to all this trouble just to talk to you for hours. I think not!
lady_nightdancer thank you
lady_nightdancer lol
knightofevilness :-)
lady_nightdancer Are we there yet
lady_nightdancer lol
knightofevilness maybe
lady_nightdancer I am holding your horse hostage...will not give him back...now, tell me who you are...it is Tuesday...threw away your calendar, hehe
I was getting desperate here so I got a bit silly. Shrugs.
knightofevilness :-O
knightofevilness I'd rather you hold me hostage
I was willing to do that if he was cute as long as I could throw him back when I was done with him. I didn’t at that time want any keepers.
lady_nightdancer Yes but then I would have to give you away once I got my ransom
knightofevilness Well we could both share the ransom together instead
lady_nightdancer If I do not give you back...I get no ransom and I desire the ransom
knightofevilness Well, I can just go back to you after you have received the ransom
Here I’m thinking, “but what if I don’t want you”, and giggling to myself. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
lady_nightdancer I see...hmmm...maybe someone would not let you
knightofevilness who, you?
lady_nightdancer No, the ransom
lady_nightdancer lol
lady_nightdancer You see...you are an unknown commodity...the ransom is not
knightofevilness but I can make you happier then the ransom can
lady_nightdancer What makes you think so?
lady_nightdancer yes...don’t ask
knightofevilness Well, I think if I can talk this long to someone I can make them happy
lady_nightdancer I see...but what if the ransom can do such a thing as well and even longer
knightofevilness I don’t think it can do such a thing longer then I can
lady_nightdancer I see...and how do you know this?
knightofevilness Because when I get everything I want
knightofevilness I am very happy
knightofevilness and I am happy then you are happy
lady_nightdancer I see...another question please
knightofevilness Go ahead
lady_nightdancer What is it you want?
knightofevilness I want to be your friend.
lady_nightdancer all right
lady_nightdancer hard to be a friend with a phantom
knightofevilness Will we be friends?
lady_nightdancer no the question is: Are we friends?
knightofevilness Yes are we friends?
lady_nightdancer We shall know that on Tuesday
knightofevilness Yes we shall
knightofevilness I will be right back I hope you will still be online.
lady_nightdancer all right
knightofevilness It will take about 20 minutes.
lady_nightdancer I will for a bit...but have things to do
lady_nightdancer ok
I waited but I had a computer problem, which I am explaining to him as I had a dinosaur of a computer at that time with Windows 98.
lady_nightdancer I was but I got an explorer error and went to the blue screen
knightofevilness oh :(
lady_nightdancer took me a bit to get back online
knightofevilness well I am glad you came back
lady_nightdancer thanks
lady_nightdancer You say you are not a vampire yet I have watched you stir things up...anger...negative emotion...like you feed off it...to me that is vampyric...
knightofevilness Well maybe I am, maybe I'm not
lady_nightdancer well geesh...and maybe you dont exist either...figment of my imagination
knightofevilness That is also possible
knightofevilness You will know on Tuesday
Here I was getting upset with him but I said nothing except what follows. He was really pushing my buttons.
lady_nightdancer you are a brat
knightofevilness 0:)
lady_nightdancer Do any of the people who go into my room know you...the real you...
lady_nightdancer You do not need to name names...not asking that
knightofevilness I don't think anyone on this planet knows the real me, but a few people in the room do know who I am.
knightofevilness Actually, you are the closest person in the room to know the real me.
lady_nightdancer I see...
lady_nightdancer Why do you like the Christian chatrooms
I had seen him in them as he had told me a few days prior some of his other Ids. I had seen him debate in a Christian versus Atheists chatroom. He was very reactive and had people upset and he thought it amusing.
knightofevilness Well, I guess that with my extensive Christian background it is the only place where I feel normal, although I am completely different then they are.
lady_nightdancer You know what one give away to you being young is?
knightofevilness what?
lady_nightdancer then
knightofevilness then?
lady_nightdancer yes...most people from early 30s down will write then many times when it should be than and noone when it should be none
knightofevilness yes
knightofevilness I knew it was then and than
I’m thinking if he knew, why did he keep typing it that way but of course I didn’t say that to him and was thinking, who is this person.
knightofevilness I guess I have bad grammar...
lady_nightdancer yes but you put the wrong one like most young ones do, lol
knightofevilness lol
knightofevilness Well that is not a product of my age actually, that is a product of poor education,.
lady_nightdancer Well actually you write quite well
Yes you noticed! I do that too, odd isn’t it.
knightofevilness Well I do write quite well provided that I have had a limited education
lady_nightdancer do you know Messiah_blzbub
He was a major booter in chatrooms and had his own crew there and knew most people but he didn’t know this Knight. I was worried now.
knightofevilness Perhaps.
knightofevilness I don't know him personally though.
lady_nightdancer I already know this
knightofevilness are you psychic?
lady_nightdancer No, I just asked him
knightofevilness Ah :-)
lady_nightdancer : he said the same as you
knightofevilness I see
knightofevilness But I know him better THAN he knows me
I was getting a picture here, he didn’t like it that I made a comment about something he had written…I was seeing chauvinist coming into the picture.
lady_nightdancer Well he is very outspoken
lady_nightdancer most if they go into vampire or satanic chats know of him
knightofevilness Yes, I do go into the satanic chats as well.
lady_nightdancer Have I ever asked you once if you were a Satanist
knightofevilness No.
lady_nightdancer Ok...just eliminated someone, lol
knightofevilness How?
lady_nightdancer by the question
knightofevilness You didn't ask a question.
lady_nightdancer and the answer
knightofevilness Well you did.
lady_nightdancer yes I did
knightofevilness but not the question that you thought
knightofevilness You asked me have You ever asked me that question
knightofevilness and my answer was no.
lady_nightdancer but the person I was thinking of...I did ask that
knightofevilness ohhhh
lady_nightdancer but he never answered
knightofevilness ok :-)
knightofevilness Well have you eliminated everyone yet?
lady_nightdancer No...I talk to too many people online all the time...casually...I could never really know
lady_nightdancer I only know who you are NOT for sure
lady_nightdancer a few
lady_nightdancer This ID in particular, I have never seen previous to the day you came into my chatroom and apologized to me previous to becoming annoying
lady_nightdancer The fact you can become annoying makes me very wary of you.
knightofevilness Yes but if I am not annoying right now you should not be.
lady_nightdancer Does not mean you could not change at some moment in time
knightofevilness Sometimes I become annoying when I feel I have not earned the respect I need and deserve.
Now it comes out…god complex! I still found him endearing, what was wrong with me I wondered.
lady_nightdancer Well, if one does not know you, how can one respect you ...that is earned indeed...hard for a shadow to earn such a thing
knightofevilness I believe in treating others how they treat me.
lady_nightdancer Well, were they being rude to you?
knightofevilness Maybe not.
lady_nightdancer Are you unhappy
I’m a caregiver…he gave me a cause was probably why I lingered.
knightofevilness But if they are too good to be nice to me first, then I am too good to be nice to them.
lady_nightdancer I see, then you are very proud
knightofevilness I don't feel as though I am supposed to be the one who goes out and is nice to everyone.
knightofevilness Because that would interfere with my belief in treating others how they treat me.
lady_nightdancer I see...an eye for an eye
knightofevilness Yes.
lady_nightdancer but is it really that if you start it
knightofevilness Yes because I have to say something.
knightofevilness But I guess it is much more then that.
He did it again, “then” instead of than…will he ever learn I was thinking. Was it on purpose, a habit or just plainly to annoy me. I didn’t know.
lady_nightdancer Many who go into the rooms are kids trying to escape..always in a state of boredom...want to party, get stoned, have sex...no responsibilities...the deletante young...
knightofevilness That is why they are so easy to aggravate.
lady_nightdancer (4:12:20 PM): they do not even think of whether they are being friendly or not...they just either hide in the room within their self made fantasyland or show off and get attention whether positive or negative and then there are the real people who feel different looking for others of like mind and soul to come close to in a way they cant with the general populace
lady_nightdancer (4:13:22 PM): I am one of those and I am friendly and I try to be nice and want my room to have that atmosphere but I cannot control all who enter through those cyber doors
knightofevilness I try to be friendly but there is no reason to, like I said I cant read peoples minds but I can read their actions.
He was a disgruntled idealist that tried to show people the error of their ways by judging them and then reacting.
lady_nightdancer Well then sit a bit when you come in and watch and talk and respond nicely to those things of interest. You now have to overcome a bad rep you have created...they wont be nice to you now because they expect you to be less than it appears you really are...you seem to me to be a really nice guy
At this point, I really meant that last remark. He seemed to be a really nice guy. He was a little over the top in ways but basically nice.
knightofevilness But, when I watch I just get even more disgusted.
lady_nightdancer Why...cause they goof off...this is where they blow off steam ...
lady_nightdancer chatrooms are really for fun...public ones...yahoogroups and such are for serious talks and then in PM too serious but in a room with many personalities one cannot expect that
lady_nightdancer some come into the room purposefully to create havoc...many times the Xtains
knightofevilness I guess I usually come into the room to create havoc.
Yes he was telling the truth as I had seen him in action and he was a meany.
lady_nightdancer yes you have...you have balls I will say that
knightofevilness I guess I just have no regard for other beings since they have no regard for myself.
lady_nightdancer That is not true...I meet many who are very nice...lots of people...starts with you and then there are those who wont be no matter what you do...so don’t talk to them
knightofevilness Well it is time to go it has been a very fun and informative 5 hours talking with you and I know there are those who are nice in the room since you are one of them
He was schmoozing me but I liked it by now. I was charmed.
knightofevilness Hopefully we will be able to continue this conversation at another time
lady_nightdancer You are leaving work?
By now he had grown on me and I really didn’t want him to go and was surprised by my reaction but I wasn’t going to tell him this, not yet.
knightofevilness Yes
knightofevilness Have a great day
lady_nightdancer Thank you...Knight...don’t know your name
knightofevilness It will all be revealed on Tuesday
There was that ever-present Tuesday.
knightofevilness Goodnight
lady_nightdancer yes...lol...good night
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